Hello all...

just thought I'd give a quick update on my mom's condition.

Tuesday my mom and dad met with the doctors to talk about having in-home hospice care. That would mean someone would come and help take care of her since she's past the point of my dad being able to do so (it took three EMTs to get her up last week).

Unfortunately, they don't offer 24-hour hospice care at home.

Thus, she's in a hospice center.

One of the things about being in hospice is you, essentially, sign your life away. As in: they don't do anything to prolong the life. You sign a paper saying they don't perform CPR if you're choking. They don't shock you if you're having a heart attack. They seek comfort for you.. but not to heal you.

So mom signed that paper.

The other part of this story is that, while they found a chemo (pills) that would work and not damage the kidneys, Tuesday was he last day on it. Her body has "deteriorated" to the point that the chemo does no good for her, and only harms; is only a poison attacking the body, not a poison attacking the cancer.

So, I find out all this today while I'm driving to Panama City Beach to set up a light show for camp.

About two hours after all that, I get a follow-up call from my dad.

Her condition, as described by my dad, has "taken a turn for the worse." It already had been an awkward day for him as she had been sleeping all day. Well, her vitals are no sporadic and her body temperature has dropped.

How do you type such things?

ARGH. I've started and stopped and changed this paragraph too many times.

I'm happy I got to see mom on Easter. I'm happy I got to see her on Mother's Day.

Those are good memories and it's good to have the last, lingering memories be happy ones where she's alert and coherent. I should hope that she'll still be in such a state by the time I get to see her, but my understanding is that she is already past that stage and may not return.

I wish there was some answer as to when you stop hoping for an extension of life and start hoping that it will be as painless as possible for her.