Of Angels and Demons: God's Monologue II

written in 2000

God’s Monologue II


It’s not that hard to explain, really.  Lucifer was the first, the most beautiful of my angels.  Even I, at times, was swayed by his suggestions.  I gave him authority over all my creations – only I was more powerful than him.  I thought it wise at the time.  In a way, I still think it wise.


He brought to me Gabriel.  He was to be the next in command.  I never took notice of their familiarity with each other… they were the only angels who did not use their whole and given names to speak with each other.  I should have realized that something was happening in Lucifer’s mind.  But I trusted him.


Just as I knew Adam would betray me, just as I knew Judas would betray me, I knew that Lucifer would betray me.  I knew that he would come to fight me.  I knew that he was meant to rule hell – why else would I have made a kingdom but not make a ruler for it.  I knew he would lose.  But I still trusted him.  I still trusted Judas.  I still trusted Adam.


I knew all this, and I let him do it.  I have let him play his games with my children and my world because I hope.  I hope for him to one day say “I’m sorry.  Please forgive me.”  I hope to one day hold my finest creation in my arms again.  I had hoped that my own treasurer would have meant the kiss.  I had hoped to find man naked before me.


I know it won’t happen.  I know he’ll continue to destroy the lives of those I love.  I know he’s destroyed the wisdom of the serpent.  I know he’s destroyed the mind of my disciple.  I know he’s given them all forbidden fruit.


I’ve sacrificed my own son in retribution to the messes he’s made.  Instead of destroying him and being done with it, I wait and I hope.  I know one day I’ll lock him up and hold him there for years upon years.  But even after that I’ll let him go, because I’ll hope that the beast will come back to me.  I’ll hope he stops playing his games.  I’ll hope he stops betraying me.  I’ll hope he stops playing in the garden.  I’ll hope he stops.