is it ok to want to excel at my career?
A while back, I wrote about my struggle with being a "career Christian." I am still struggling with what this means.
Last week, there came a day when I was tired and - to be honest - a bit frustrated. My boss swung my office to just check in and see how my day was when I let my guard down and expressed my frustration.
My current position was created with some very specific expectations upon it to be considered a success. The expectations were settled upon with the idea that there would be two of me. In my first full quarter, we hit 75% of the expectations for the year (and there's only one of me). In other words, I did pretty well and far exceeded expectations.
I'm not saying that to be bragadocious; just practical. It is also important to note the the various people throughout the organization who touch the work also deserve tons of credit for being able to handle the flow of work that my products added to their load.
Unfortunately, we hit a snag or two this quarter on getting my content released. So when my boss asked how I was doing I explained my two frustrations:
1) We have content that should be available, that's not. This means a loss in revenue and - if we truly believe that our products spead the Gospel - it means people aren't hearing the Message as we planned (in digital format).
2) Last quarter I was a star for getting 75% of the expectations in one quarter. This quarter I wanted to be a super-star.
Now then... we should be getting the flow of content going again this week. This post isn't about that. This post is about how I felt after saying I wanted to be a super-star.
It hit me hard that what I was saying and wanting was, simply put, not humble. It wasn't me trying to help raise the calibur of my co-workers. It wasn't me being meek or quiet or going with the flow. I wanted to be recognized for the work I've done and I wanted to be given the freedom to do even more, better work.
So I'm torn, trying to figure out the balance. Is it ok for me to want to excel at my career, wanting to be the best, wanting to succeed head-and-shoulders above what was expected of me? Is it ok to fight to go from doing 75% of my year's expectations in one quarter to try and get 100 or even 150% of the expectations the next quarter?
Or, am I supposed to be humble and just accept the things get in the way and that things just are the way they are? Am I supposed to be content with being a star when I feel like we could have done so much more this quarter? Am I allowed to challenge myself to levels of success for my area that are far beyond what LifeWay envisioned, or should I be content in knowing that I could simply relax and do nothing until July and my work still be considered a success?
I don't want to be content with great if I know that my work could be excellent. I don't want to be excellent if I know that my work can be stellar. But how do I balance success beyond anyone's expectations with humbleness? Do I have to push down my own expectations of myself and my role so as to not be "too successful" or "too agressive" in making a great product? Is there such thing as too good of work?
Last week, there came a day when I was tired and - to be honest - a bit frustrated. My boss swung my office to just check in and see how my day was when I let my guard down and expressed my frustration.
My current position was created with some very specific expectations upon it to be considered a success. The expectations were settled upon with the idea that there would be two of me. In my first full quarter, we hit 75% of the expectations for the year (and there's only one of me). In other words, I did pretty well and far exceeded expectations.
I'm not saying that to be bragadocious; just practical. It is also important to note the the various people throughout the organization who touch the work also deserve tons of credit for being able to handle the flow of work that my products added to their load.
Unfortunately, we hit a snag or two this quarter on getting my content released. So when my boss asked how I was doing I explained my two frustrations:
1) We have content that should be available, that's not. This means a loss in revenue and - if we truly believe that our products spead the Gospel - it means people aren't hearing the Message as we planned (in digital format).
2) Last quarter I was a star for getting 75% of the expectations in one quarter. This quarter I wanted to be a super-star.
Now then... we should be getting the flow of content going again this week. This post isn't about that. This post is about how I felt after saying I wanted to be a super-star.
It hit me hard that what I was saying and wanting was, simply put, not humble. It wasn't me trying to help raise the calibur of my co-workers. It wasn't me being meek or quiet or going with the flow. I wanted to be recognized for the work I've done and I wanted to be given the freedom to do even more, better work.
So I'm torn, trying to figure out the balance. Is it ok for me to want to excel at my career, wanting to be the best, wanting to succeed head-and-shoulders above what was expected of me? Is it ok to fight to go from doing 75% of my year's expectations in one quarter to try and get 100 or even 150% of the expectations the next quarter?
Or, am I supposed to be humble and just accept the things get in the way and that things just are the way they are? Am I supposed to be content with being a star when I feel like we could have done so much more this quarter? Am I allowed to challenge myself to levels of success for my area that are far beyond what LifeWay envisioned, or should I be content in knowing that I could simply relax and do nothing until July and my work still be considered a success?
I don't want to be content with great if I know that my work could be excellent. I don't want to be excellent if I know that my work can be stellar. But how do I balance success beyond anyone's expectations with humbleness? Do I have to push down my own expectations of myself and my role so as to not be "too successful" or "too agressive" in making a great product? Is there such thing as too good of work?