Posts in life of linne
signing up for lj
so... i signed up for lj because Ash keeps her journal on here and figured I might want to post a comment on her journal every now and then. i haven't posted on my own site for ages, because I've been living life. It's a strange thing to have so little free time. I wake up around 5:30... take care of the dogs... go to work until 4... Ash is usually at the house by 5... she leaves around 10... i'm in bed by 10:30. This happens every weekday except Thursday, when I try to spend time with the guys and work on any freelance projects I have at night. This is a stark juxtaposition to my previous life, where in I did nothing. I would go to work around 9-10, leave around 6pm and do nothing at night. Ashley has been wonderful in being patient as I adjust to this much more active life, though every moment has been enjoyable. Life seems so better when you have someone to share even the mundane experiences with. Two are better than one, yes. I think I'm fading out on the online journalling. While I find it important to communicate with friends, my friend base has shifted dramatically in the past year or so. Whereas my desire to journal was born out of the fact that so many of my friends lived so far away, I've managed to be much more socialable and Ashley and I have developed several solid friendships with people in our lives. I wish I could communicate more with old friends from college and such, but I understand/accept the cyclical nature of life. When the time is ripe. I miss Stefan, James, Thorny, Andy, Aubrey, Stephie, Luke/Brittany, Doug and so on and so forth... but have been blessed with Shawn, Thomas, Mike, Andy, Adam, Gabe, Tam, Dan, Aaron, Marion, Christie, Morgan and so on and so forth. It's amazing how people ebb and flow in and out of life. On the horizon lies potential for some great friendships... Ben and Laurie, Matt, Ashley's Amanda and Allison... Life's tides bring so many lonely days and so many days with too large a crowd. It's a beautiful thing to have someone walking along side you. I guess that's where I'll stop for now.
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one guarantee
there is only one thing every creature conceived on this earth is guaranteed: a lifetime.  lives end in so many ways. cancer. falling down stairs. fighting a war. some meaningless, some suggesting a trip to Valhalla. i don't know that there's anything more selfish than taking your own life, before your body planned to give up its ghost. there's no honor there. there's no courage. all the pain and suffering you think you're going through that's so bad is now thrown onto your friends and people that you didn't even realize cared about you because you were too scared to ask if they cared.  all the pain that you think you're getting rid of by stopping the flow of blood is spread across your world to everyone else.
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dog days
so, for our Valentine's gifts to each other, Ash and I got dogs from the humane society. and they are a handful. two 1-year old dogs, both a bundle of energy and jealous for attention in an unbelievable way. when i come home you think that to them, it's the second coming of Christ. they literally got into a fight, biting each other (not playfully) to see who could jump up at me for my affections. there is no easier self-esteem booster than getting a dog that likes you. so far they already ran away once by digging under the fence, so I'll need to fix that up. until then they hang out in the garage during the day and in my room when I'm home. they found happy real interesting at first, but not pretty much ignore her. i'm proud of my bunny - she stood her ground and sniffed them just as much as they sniffed her. the cat is slowly getting used to them, after having molly sniff his (clark the cat's) butt and ... em... licking it. Bradshaw is an aussie cattle dog. This means he likes to nip at heels if people don't stay in line and is one of the most loyal breeds of dogs you can get. As well as most active - they're bred to run over 20 miles a day. He likes killing stuffed animals like his ducky and the Hulk (go here to see the fight: homepage.mac.com/alinne) and he likes peeing only where Molly has peed before. Molly is a princess of the terrier breed. She's a mix; Ash thinks she has a lot of Norfolk in her (i think) whereas I think she's more Cairn. She likes just sitting the peacefully until you give her attention. Then she'll just sit there and look at you full of contentment. I'm not too sure she likes Bradshaw as he's a little less mature than her - I think she uses him for protection. The dogs were strays together, then raised together for a little while before given to the Humane Society. As such, we were able to get both for the price of one... they're a random pair of dogs, but seem to get along ok. Molly couldn't care less where Bradshaw is, but if Molly leaves Bradshaw's leash area, his world stops. Sigh - I guess he really loves her underbite. Ashley's been great with the dogs as these are first dogs she's gotten to take care of. She get showered with affection like I do, so I'm glad to see they realize that even though they see more of me, she's their master too. Anyone who wants to swing by and meet these two crazy kids come one by - just let us know when!
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enjoying life
life is too easy. we don't scrap for food, we don't gather around a fire. we have food handed on plates bred by some mysterious person... somewhere. wherever restraunts find chicken. we pay someone else to build a dwelling that we can't afford. we get mad at video games and anticipate the next "product" to come out. and it's so hard to sit back and enjoy all these little pleasures... but we've been trained to just sit back and complain. and we, as Christians, who have inherited the earth... why is it so hard sometimes to smile and enjoy? why is it so hard to let go of stress and let go of ourselves? i just want to be content and happy. and be content that everyone else is content and happy. why do so many of us miss out on enjoying life and can't even understand why?
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Deli's Adventures in Chi-Town
So last weekend Deli went on a grand adventure for a return visit to Chicago. She's been there before, so when she first got there she was a bit bored... just sitting around a hotel. Of course, the had to go lounging around and fall asleep on my book bag... Deli's not a shy one, however... and she decided no trip to Chicago would be right without some quality deep-dish pizza. Jalepenos, garlic and sausage make for a good snack. But there was one thing that simply had to be done for Deli; her first trip to the elusive Chicago Apple Store. It really seemed to be more of a hang out than a store. Since she was there she figured she'd learn from the pros and watch a little video in their theatre: And then, the computer just her size... She needs one of her own... ask me how you can help! Of course, she's a bargain hunter and found the referbs... mm... cheap apple swag... Such big steps for such a little girl. She got tired quick. What does Apple put on their in-store iPods? Deli's favorite vocal stud, Nick Cave, of course! She really just wanted to hang around and listen to music... Of course, after such a grand adventure she rested all the way to the hotel on the "L." OK, Deli... time to say goodbye to Chi-Town! We'll be back in August!  
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So, this was Christmas...
Christmas this year... was different, to say the least. The first Christmas without a mother. It brings a very real sense of her being gone. It's always easier to just react to things as if I didn't call her that day or I forgot to tell her something. But when its only three people exchanging gifts and you know there's supposed to be four... it can't be denied. The saddest part was my father not having anything to open on Christmas day. I hate to admit that I hadn't even thought about it. I don't know that he got hardly anything that he truly wanted for Christmas (material-wise; I know that what he rally wanted was just the three of us to be together). This is also the longest I've been without Ashley since she moved to Nashville. That's been tougher than I thought it might - especially being at my house and not seeing her there. She definately lights up the room and makes the house more cozy. I've enjoyed getting to play video games and get work done and personal reflection and all that happens when one's alone... but I do miss her and look forward to her return. Its been quite the year of transition. The passing of my mother, the beginning of my relationship with Ashley and my dad informing me he'll be remarrying in January. My sister no long claims to believe in Christ (let alone follow him) and instead is expecting to be reincarnated. I went from planning to officiate my sister's wedding to telling her that dad won't be mad at her for ending her engagment. I seem to have lost someone I thought was one of my best friends because I expressed my thoughts on a topic that was dear and life-changing to me. My church has become like family to me and I've actually enjoyed being sociable. I have a pastor I can call a friend and express my doubts and concerns with without getting rhetorical sunday-school answers. I fluxuate with loving my job and seeking a new one. I have lots of debt. So this was Christmas, and it's the first pause I've had in months. Before Ash came into my life this year, I felt like the majority of the time I was on pause; content to be a hermit in my room at home playing silly games and not venturing out. It's amazing how having a wonderul, incredible woman can make you desire to be a stronger, better man. It makes you realize that if you're going to waste away a day, it's much more meaningful and enjoyable to waste it away with someone else. I can't be mad at my dad for wanting companionship. I can't be mad at him for deciding that life is better when you have someone to share it with than when you don't. It's just all so very soon. My dad didn't wrap the gifts for Carmen until Christmas evening (she wasn't coming until the morning after). He saw Christmas as the ending of one season of life and the day after the beginning of a new one, with Carmen. This remarriage... its so confusing to me on a romantic level. Yes, I understand his desire for companionship. But I've always seen my parents in a (as far as I know) healthy, loving relationship. I know my dad loved her. I guess its different for him... in so many ways (because I didn't see her every day) mom still doesn't quite seem to be gone. For him, he goes to bed alone every night after having a wife for so many years. Being alone is on the forefront of his mind. It just is hard to imagine carrying on after the death of a wife. There's so many things I've yet to experience... being engaged... the marriage ceremony... honeymoon... children... moving together... vacations... and, inevitable death... that I can't wrap my mind around what it must be like for him to desire another woman. It still seems wrong somehow in my mind... but I imagine that it's because I'm not him. I'm not there and I'm ok with an empty bed because I've had one for 24 years. So this was Christmas, the time of birth for my Saviour Jesus Christ and a time of birth for a new life for my dad. Christ bless him, Sister Wisdom guide him and God give him a good life. And help me deal with it.
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songs
isn't it great when you hear a song you hadn't heard in a while... and a rush of memories come flooding into your mind... and it seems like it's from another world, another life... someone else's perhaps... and then you think "no, no, that's me. that was my life. i was there. that moment exists forever in the recesses of my mind. it was true and there." it's a good feeling, it is.
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to move
to move or not to move. is that the question? when offered a job making $12,000 more + benefits than you currently have... but requiring you to leave the only church you really wanted to call home... and sweet Ashley. Had this come a month and a half earlier, it would have been perfect... because the job is in New Mexico. But she's here now. And actually likes it here. Is it fair to ask her to pack up and move... again? Needless to say... please pray. One big decision... with lots of ripple effects.
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Colorado
Yeah, the inside of this Colorado airport is nice and trendy and all... but can i just get to New Mexico, please? And fly Frontier - the only airline where the stewardess encourages you to leave things on the plane so they can sell them on eBay. Really.
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There is Still Hope
I love my friends. I love Tasha and Logan and Mark and Stefan and Amy and Andrea and Andy and Shawn and Leslie and Gary and Thomas and Aaron and Dan and Adam and Matt and Darrel and James and Chris and Jordan and, of course, Ashley - and so on and so on. And one thing that I've always loved abot my friendships is openness and honesty. That if there was something I wanted to discuss, I know I'd have a multitude to do so with. That if there was something they wanted to discuss, they know that I'd be open to talking about whatever. And so, I love it (honestly, not sarcastically) when a friend says "hey... that offends me." Or when they say,"hey... that doesn't seem right. what's going on here?" Or when they just say, "Hey Aaron - I love you." So, in my small sphere of friendships... it seems that my previous post ("A Hope Realized"), one that I wrote because of joy and happiness and - well - hope, has offended some friends. And, hopefully that's okay. Hopefully we're still "dear" friends. The post was never meant to offend, the post was an outpouring of where I am in life, it was about me finally "getting it." It was about me realizing that all these lies that society and tv and locker rooms and theatre groups and websites and friends and exes and men and women have told me were just that - lies. It was about me trying to stand up and say to other men out there, "Hey! I got fooled! Being a man has absolutley NOTHING to do with the size of your * or how you use it! Being a man has NOTHING to do with how hot of a girl you can get to sit by your side! Being a man has NOTHING to do with what your fetish is or whether you've been with two girls at once! We've all been LIED to! There is something so much better! Really!" It was me being honest... saying that hey... I fell for that midrift. Hey... I sought out that leg. Hey... listen... I was told that a woman would only stay with you if you can give her an orgasm. And I was told wrong, I know this now. It was me saying that when you fall in love, when you find a woman that doesn't have to use her body to get your attention... when you find a real woman, one kiss from her will be more intoxicating than some random orgasm. It was me being real, saying to my friends, my brothers, to anyone who might stumble on this site... I admit it. I had those random orgasms. I SOUGHT out those random orgasms. And they don't compare to a kiss backed by love. And somehow, some of the people that I truly do hold dear, whose opinions count, who I only wish I saw more of, took offense at this post. And that's ok. It's ok because I haven't live their life and they haven't lived mine. They don't know what I've gone through. They weren't around for the relationships I've been in. They haven't seen me with my most raw insecurities, thinking that because I was the biggest kid in 6th grade that no girl would ever want me. They havn't seen that nearly every relationship in high school ended with the girl leaving me for another guy or because I wouldn't put out. They haven't seen that I suddenly had more girls at my attention then I knew what to do with when I did start to kiss around. They haven't seen how that messed up my perception of a what a man should be. And I? I haven't seen their lives, their relationships that formed them. I haven't seen what images and memories the words "open legs" or "midrift" or "dirty lips" might conjure up. I don't know the power of words and how meaning gets lost in translation - the translation of lives and memories and figurative language. And I don't know their perceptions of a "real woman" or a "real man" and maybe they've never had to deal with the things I have. Or maybe they've dealt with it on levels much worse (much different - in personal lives our experiences are always worse to ourselves) that I ever have. And maybe that post was all about me needing to finally just say, "Thank you Ashley - thank you for loving me for me and I want you to know that your kisses, simnple kisses, are so much sweeter than the random orgasms I was confused to believe made me a man." When people hear that I'm a virgin, I often hear one of two responses: "Is that because of your religious beliefs?" "Do you want me to change that?" To answer the second quesiton, no, I don't. To answer the first? No, it isn't. My religious beliefs coincide with the decision I've made on my sexuality (to be a virgin until marriage) and back it up - but I've chosen chastity because I do believe, regardless of the Church's command (technicality: what is the definition of adultery?) for waiting for marriage because I believe you should. Why? Because I don't want a child by someone I haven't commited my life to Because I want to be able to give my wife something I've never given anyone (regardless of whether she can say the same or not - which, up until just a few months ago, I never imagined I might be able to wed a virgin because there are so few out there and regardless of what people may think I implyed, "dirty lips" have nothing to do with the past and everything to do with the mind and heart and intentions). Because one night of sexual discovery cannot compare to 25 years of sexual discovery. Because I don't want to wear a condom. Because I worry enough about STDs from toilets and bedsheets and blood transfusions. Because my mom wouldn't have wanted me to. And so, execpt for quoting God, "Brace yourself like a man...", because the intent of the post was about being a man, I purposely tried to stay away from my religious beliefs in that post. Because while they correlate with my sexual identity and choices, they are not the sole driving force. And that's one of the places I've struggled so much in life... is that practically the only place that says to wait for intercourse is a good thing IS the church! And when you ask why? You get that answer "because you shouldn't. no, no, no. Touching is bad. Kissing is bad. Realizing that 'oh! hey! I have genitalia!' is bad. God says so." And I'm TIRED of that being the only reason. So I discover that - hey - kissing this woman that I've fallen in love with... it envokes feelings and desires and care and affection that is so different than anything before. People need to know that this is better than kissing some random pair of lips you may never see again! Because I've been there! I know the difference now! MEN! There is hope!!! If the fact that I discovered a truth in my life for myself, outside of the black & white confines of organized religion, and I want to share it somehow makes someone want no part of Christianity... then... then... then I'm just plain confused. Because suddenly someone is placing stereotypes on my life's story and not listening. Which is what so many people say is the reason that they don't like Christians. So do I think girls are to blame? Do I think "dirty girls" are evil and need to be killed and slaughtered and hung on a pole for all to see and mock? Do I think that you (anyone reading this - and anyone not reading this) are evil for having kissed someone other than your mate? Do I think that the moment a girl gives up her virginity to someone, anyone outside of marriage they become tainted and don't deserve love and care and affection? No. No. No. And no. My post was to urge men to not look at the girls out there in life who do seek momentary pleasure for the sheer thrill of it and not seeking love. It's to be a man and try to not have your eyes drawn to every thigh and midrift out there in the hopes of chasing it down and being a sexual conquest. It's an urge to realize (because I've been there, I've expereiced it) that there are girls who will try to tell you that your manhood is based on how good you are in bed and if you're still a virgin at 24 then you're still just a kid. My post was to men. My post was to tell men that you don't have to buy into the lies of sex and lust and false pride. That true love is better than messing around. That a real kiss is better than a random orgasm. My post was to say "hey - i'm the one whose lips were dirty. I found something better. I got messed up from all that - you don't need to too." That when you've been told sexual lie after lie your entire post-puberty life... that when you think the only way you'll get a girl (since you won't have sex with them) is to at least be good at everything else... that when you don't understand why girls on first dates, girls that you were dating for less than a month who was your best female friend before that, girls that you thought you were going to marry - that you don't understand why they break up with you because, in their own words, "you won't have sex with me..." that even amongst a life like that, that men - there is still hope.
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A Hope Realized
I wish someone had told me. I don't know why no one did. To all my single brothers out there... to all the young men who are trying to figure out this world and are trying to respond to the expectations of sex and love and kisses and physique and looks and manhood. Become a man. Don't fool around, don't be a slut, don't think that your worth is EVER to be measured on how many girls throw themselves at you or how many you can kiss on the first date or how many show off that leg of theirs. That's all so so worthless. To steal a phrase from the creative God Himself: "Brace yourself like a man; I will question you and you will answer me." What part of being a man involves lying down with another man's to-be wife? What part of a man means giving away parts of yourself to some girl whose name you won't remember in 20 years... 10 years... 2 years. What part of being a man means becoming weak in the knees about something as silly as midrift; how could that compare to one day seeing a much larger midrift carrying your child? What part of a man means compromising your commitments to yourself (let alone God or your mysterious yet-to-be-named wife) for momentary pleasure? Now wait. I've heard all that before. I've heard people say don't do this or don't do that or don't look at this girl or don't touch that one. I've heard from men "no, no, no." What we don't hear, what so few people have told me... is how GOOD it will be when you find the woman you love. How beautiful the comfort of simply holding another body near yours not for lust or ego but for comfort and care. How much better it is to have a woman who trusts you and loves you for not proving your manhood via your body and sexual expertise but instead by your lifestyle and your mind and you commitments. Guys... a gentle touch and strong commitment will find it's way to a worthy heart. A d* just gets you into pants. And those pants are probably used and dirty anyways. I can go to the store and by a TV dinner with Sirloin Steak. So can you. And you, and you, and you. And yeah... that Sirloin Steak might fill me up. That TV Dinner Sirloin Steak might even taste good! You might think... "hey, I can live on this Sirloin Steak for my life." And then... you meet a master chef. He marinates his steak, uncooked, untouched, for days. Then, slowly the meat is cooked over an open fire. And you realize what real STEAK is. Men (and women) you can go out there and give up hope and just be with whatever (whoever) is easy. You can feel powerful, you can feel embraced by society. And then one day you'll try something real. I'll be honest. I had started to give up hope in feminity... I had met so many women who were trying to woo men with their body and open legs and not their heart and mind. And their abrasiveness and desire to be wanted was so much louder than the real women who respect themselves and love men in the proper, right ways that I almost missed true love. They spoke so loud that I got lost in what it meant to be a man. What was important. What my soul and emotions and body really needed. Guys - true love is out there. And it tastes so much sweeter than dirty lips. The reason to wait isn't just some sort of "no, no, no." It's not even to protect you, per se. The reason to wait is because when you find love it will be as a fine wine; so much better than what you could quickly get your hands into. You've got things to do, a man to become. Don't let sime pair of used, dirty lips dictate to you that sexual pleasure is a substitute for being real. Let go of that false assumption and misguided focus and become a real man. And then, when you find a real woman, one kiss will intoxicate you more than some random orgasm. Men, there is hope.
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Random Acts of Memory
So as I was driving yesterday, I was hit with a random memory. I don't know why it suddenly came to me, but it did. So the year was 2001 and my friends James, Jeremiah and Chris were in Houston, TX. While waiting for a bus, we struck up a conversation with one of the other guys waiting. He asked why we were in town and, our obvious answer was... "We're a band on tour." So what does he do? He invites us to play at his church in the morning. So... after explaining that we weren't really a band, he comes back and hangs with us at our hotel for a bit. Where my guitar was. Which he saw. Which lead him to invite ME to play/sing at church the next morning. So I did. And that, my friends, is how Aaron ended up playing a song he wrote at a black church in Houston, TX.
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to meet a hurricane named Ivan / ChicagoCon Pictoral
so it's been quite a while since I've taken a lil time to blog. sue me. I figured I'd knock out one last entry before I go to meet my impending doom at the hands of Hurrican Ivan and his cohorts of wind, water and destruction. That's right, I'm flying down to Orlando for vacation tommorrow. I fly out Monday, with the hurricane pushing me out (IVAN is currently scheduled to hit Orlando on, yes, Monday). So why have I not written? Because Aaron's been a good little worker bee and kept very busy. From an awesome trip in Chicago for WizardWorld Chicago '04 to FUGE's Eval Week '04 to Dragon*Con '04 and now the upcoming DisneyWorld Trip '04... it just keeps going and going. Memoirs of WizardWorld So WizardWorld rocked this year even better than '03. This time I was flanked in fun not only by loyal friend Bagget of France, but by the HeroClix Master himself, Dug. During the course of the con I got to once again meet CB - the talent relations guy at Marvel Comics. I met him last year, had a minor conversation, and assume that he has no idea who I am. CB... not only does he have talent, but he can relate to us little people. I feel pretty awkward about Chris Claremont. He's the godfather of the X-Men, bringing them back to life so many years ago and taking us on the wild ride of their journey - creating the prototype for what so many comics try so hard to do. Then he gave us "X-Treme X-Men" with a story so confusing that I didn't even notice when I read it that one of the characters (Psylocke) was killed. That's right, I didn't even notice it. Then he gaves us the X-Treme X-Men storyline of "The Arena" in which he made two sets of characters lesbians (that's 4 lesbians in a row) when none of them had shown that tendacy ever before. So odd. Then, he went and insulted Joss Wheedon. Funny man that Joss. And wow, is he good at writing. And seemingly shy about it all, in a boyish way. If I was a girl (or if Claremont wrote my life)... ew. Nevermind. Yes Joe, you've been a great EiC for Marvel (and as a stockholder, I really mean it). But no, you may not eat the microphone. And finally, in this WizardWorld Special Pictoral, I managed to infiltrate Bagget of France's secrative international conversations with his French "Agents." We can see here how coy he his about his masterplan. I believe he was getting frustrated over Jack-In-the-Box's decision to take the "French" out of "French Fries." Finally, James concedes to pain when told of the death of Rene Dupree's dog FiFi. Rest well FiFi. Rest well.
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the day after yesterday, which was my birthday (yesterday, not the day after)

yesterday was my birthday.

yeah for dad and sharon coming to visit.

good conversations and good to spend time with the family. would like to have seen ash and maybe talk to her more than i did. reality of long distance and such sets in.

need to spend time with local friends... don't think most knew it was my birthday. just been too busy with work and various side projects. amy and the church crew keep reaching out to me with lots of invites and phone calls, but it seems i never get the message until after their outing is finished. need to work on lines of communication.

i'm the kind of friend who needs to be reached out to - to be refreshed that, yes, so-and-so really does want to hang with me. amy does a great job of that but i do a horrible job of recipicating.

spoke with andy friday; missed him more than i knew.

looking forward to chicago w/james. never had a more loyal friend than him. chicago was a hobby-awakening time for me... be interesting to see how it effects me (if at all) this year.

nervous about the fact that i'm gone 4 out of the next 5 weekends. going to hurt the cashflow.

starting next week there will be 4 of us living in my lil house. so much for privacy in the month of august.

feeling sleepy. long long day but sprinkled with some very good conversation.

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the heart and another
the heart was calloused. it beat steady, but without rhythm or true desire. it beat because it had to; that's what hearts do. the heart knew it needed something more... anything more... so it flapped itself around screaming "i need something!" and the vultures picked it up as bit the heart with wrongful kisses, massaging it to a bloody mess. the heart didn't like this. the heart, with vultures circling around, was found by another. another simply said "sorry." the heart, in it's confusion, flapped around screaming "i need something!" while another gently waved and said "hey, can we talk?" the heart was suprised at this. you see, the heart had been shut up and locked shut. the heart had been so abused and spit on the it had become so hard to do much more than beat. another really wanted to talk. another said, unknowingly and in no so many words, "shhh. it's ok." this meant a lot to the heart. another had a master locksmith for a father.
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seperation
i find it strange. i was at a worship service tonight... and it's not that the preacher did a bad job at preaching... it's just... i'm beginning to think that I just don't get it. that somehow i disconnected from the christian culture where we think that people are just going to "accept Christ" because someone says we should from a stage. Because someone promises freedom and peace and joy... when it seems the church has been portrayed as a depressing set of rules and regulations. where's the story? the grand adventure? it just seems that, having experienced a taste, a sliver of the world... it just seems that a funny story and a few open promises aren't going to cut it. I'm not saying that it wouldn't or it doesn't... and I'm sure people have come to know Christ through sermons like that... and conversations like that... but it seems so empty. I just don't know why we've pulled away from the grand story of Creation and Christ to talk about... silly stories that make people laugh. Sure, there is a place for laughter... but it just seems like we leave out so much of what makes our faith alive and true. Maybe I don't understand about preaching... maybe I missed some memo somewhere... but that which will draw people near to Christ is EXPERIENCING Christ... not just talking abuot what will happen afterwards... but telling people why we should care about Christ in the first place. Why has that become so unusual?
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